This seems to be a recurring theme in my life in the last few days. I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I'm going to attempt the half marathon in April. I'm scared and nervous and excited. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to try to walk it or run it. I'd like to run it, but we'll see if I'm there yet when I get there. Right now, I'm just going to say that I'm going to do it.
So, in this process, I'm trying to push myself as much as I can to work up to that distance. If you hadn't noticed, 13.1 miles is far. It's almost the equivalent of me walking/running to work one way. Craziness. And I'm going to attempt to RUN that? Insane. But, tell me I can't do something and I'm going to be determined to do it. That's all I need is someone telling me I can't do something and the stubborn and/or rebellion in me comes out and I want to do it. Especially when it comes to something like this. Again, I've had so many people tell me for so long that I can't or won't do something that I'm determined to prove them all wrong.
Well, apparently if you push yourself too much and you'll apparently wear yourself out. Although, I haven't injured myself (yet - Thank goodness!), I have irritated a muscle in my hip somehow. Okay, not somehow. I irritated it by overworking it. Last week my trainer had us doing 100 reps of different things and the leg lifts got me. The next day or two, I ran my usual 3-4 miles and on the third day we had a leg workout. I took the next day off, but the following day (Saturday), Mom and I went to An Affair of The Heart and walked for something like 5 hours. I wore my pedometer and when I did the math, it added up to like 4 miles when all was said and done.
I've been pushing myself, but I think last week I pushed myself too hard resulting in this wonky hip this week. I've been working hard to get in 100 miles for our 100 mile challenge at work (walk, run, bike or swim 100 miles in 31 days) and I guess I've been working too hard. I have my 100 miles now, so I can technically take it easy. I want to try to get my100 miles without using the 3.3 miles I get as credit for doing a class with my trainer, but I'm not sure my hip will let me.
The point here, I guess I'm going to have to listen to my body. Although, I have a boatload of energy and the will to do more, my body just isn't letting me right now. It's very frustrating. When I have extra time, that's what I want to do. It's hard to not move when that's all you want to do.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Some older posts:
As promised, the older posts from July to the present. I wasn't writing anything regularly until recently, so it's a bit spotty.
7/31/11
9/27
It's been so long since I've written anything to update this journey I'm on. I'm not sure where to begin.
I'm still running/jogging/walking every day, Mon-Fri. Right now, I'm going about 3-3.5 miles a day. Sometimes more. The other day I managed to find the energy for a class + 4.5 miles. I'm not sure where all that came from, but I was exhausted the next day.
My doctor is now aware that I'm exercising. He was pleased. Yes, I know that I should have talked to him about it first, but I figured since he was the one encouraging me to exercise when I saw him in February, that when I really started exercising in March or April, that he wouldn't mind and would have cleared me. He was pleased with my progress and to hear that I was working out with someone and not alone. More to the point, he was glad because my blood pressure is better than it's ever been and I've lost to date (as of Monday) 57 lbs! That's according to his records. I however, remember being heavier than what he's got in his records.
I've started going to class with Cody (our trainer at work) everyday that he's there - including the boot camp/advanced class. That class kicks my tail, but as much as I'm cursing and insulting Cody under my breath through it and hating him with every strand in my body, I know that it's good for me. I always feel it the next day. This last week, I'm not sure what we did, but it hurt for me even to stand on my tip toes because my calves and quads hurt so much. I hate it when I'm doing it, but I also love it. I know, it sounds crazy, but that's the truth.
As I'm losing weight, I'm figuring out just what's underneath all of this weight I've been carrying around all these years. I'm getting really excited to find out what's been under all these layers of fat all this time.
10/8
MAY-JOR milestone yesterday. I actually ran/jogged/whatever 5 miles. It took me 65 minutes, but I did it. I didn't know I had it in me. I am so incredibly proud of myself. AND I wasn't tired. You'd think I would be, but no. Not really. Even today, I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be. AND yesterday even after the 65 minutes, I felt like I could run some more, but I needed to go. I had somewhere to be and was out of time.
This is crazy. I guess it's true. You do what's required; then what's possible; before you know it, you're doing the impossible. No, not my quote. That's from St. Francis of Assisi. I'm sure that's not exactly right - the quote or the spelling, but you get the idea. I think back a year and where I was last October. I was struggling to walk a mile and here I am a year later and I'm not just walking, but running/jogging a mile. It baffles my mind. Seriously.
I've never been an athlete. Never. I was always the clumsy, fat girl. To see myself changing as I am is mind boggling for me. I never thought it would be possible that I could run 5 miles. Granted they were elliptical miles which aren’t' the same as running them on an open trail, but still... that's FIVE MILES and it was 65 steady minutes of vigorous physical activity. Something I never thought I would be able to do. I never thought I would be able to consider myself a runner and yet, here I am. Running. Or jogging. Whatever you'd like to call it.
When Cody told me he'd like to see me in the half marathon last year right after I finished the 5k, I told him he was crazy. Seriously, I thought he was insane. He had much more faith in me than I had in myself. He probably still has more faith in me than I have in myself, but I'm glad he does because it's his faith in me that keeps me going sometimes. Yes, I realize it's kind of his JOB, but I need him to do that sometimes. Getting back to my point, I'm beginning to see that in 6 months, yes, it's very possible that I might be able to run/walk the half marathon and FINISH. Again, it seems insane to me. Complete insanity, but I've already said I was going to try it, so I have to. If I really want to make myself, I could register now and seriously commit myself to doing it. However, I told myself that right now I would commit to train for it. In January or February, I'll make a final decision. Plus, my employer will pay for my registration - which is NOT cheap. It's something like $75. Yes, I'll let them pay for it.
The other thing that tells me I've turned a corner, I started scheduling things around my workout schedules. It isn’t even a question about whether or not I’m going to skip the class or my time to run/walk/workout. I just add that extra hour (and some days two) onto whatever time I get off work to put in my “sweat equity”. Like, when people ask me if I can do things in the evening, I know that the earliest I can be somewhere is no earlier than about 6:30 (maybe 5:30 or 6 if it’s a Monday or Friday and I don’t have a class). I’ve made it a priority.
The way I look at it is that yes, it’s selfish. However, I have to be selfish with my time when it comes to my well-being and my health. I have used and abused my body for the first 32 years I had it and now I’m trying to get it into the shape that it’s supposed to be for it to function properly. If it were someone who was sick or an alcoholic, you wouldn’t judge them or criticize them for going to the doctor or seeking treatment for what ails them. For me, this is my treatment and it’s up to me to make sure that it gets done. There aren’t a lot of people looking over my shoulder asking me why I wasn’t in the gym sweating it out. Well, maybe Cody, but anyone else wouldn’t pay it any attention if I skipped a day, a week or even a month. I, however, would know and would feel guilty because even if no one else is holding me accountable, I’m holding myself accountable.
There have been too many people along the way who have always told me I couldn't do something or expected me to fail. They don’t think I’m going to follow through with things. And it’s true. I’m horrible with follow through, but I’m working on that. I’m slowly but surely getting better at that. I’m realizing what I can accomplish and what I know I can do. I’m realizing my limits. Not that I can’t do whatever I put my mind to, but I also know what I can commit to doing – whether it’s going to take time, money or both and realizing that those are very precious things that I can’t waste. Maybe that’s just a part of growing up, but it’s what I’ve been learning most recently.
The other thing that tells me that I’ve changed, earlier today was the game I look forward to all year long – the OU-Texas game. I usually spend hours reading game analysis or reviews or previews online or watching video montages of previous games. Not only did I not do that this year, but even though I was excited about the OU/Texas game, I woke up more excited about the 5 miles I did yesterday on the elliptical than the game. If you would’ve told me last year or a few months ago even that I’d be more excited about that than the OU/Texas game, I would’ve told you that you were insane. However, it’s true. I thought more about getting closer to my next goal of a 12-minute mile than the OU/Texas game. Truly unimaginable a few months ago.
10/10
It’s rare that I have breakthroughs/insights 2 days in a row, but I do. Today’s insight? I got into jeans a former friend gave me that were THREE SIZES smaller than what I was wearing previously. Seriously. I was in the larger end of the “regular” plus sizes. I lost weight, but wasn’t quite into a smaller size yet last year when she gave them to me. They’re a bit of a squeeze, but I was able to get into them. I’m so proud of myself. I can’t wait until these are too big too.
Now comes the debate. Do I go ahead and get rid of my jeans that are too big now? I hate to get rid of clothes that I’ve barely worn.
If you think you're defeated, you are.
If you let something define you, it will define you as a person.
If you let something defeat you, it will defeat you.
It isn't just about weight loss. You have to let yourself think you're a thin person.
I have been fat all my life. As a kid, I was always the chubby one, or the big girl or the girl with the chipmunk cheeks. As a result, I had the mindset of a fat person. I didn't think of myself as just a person, I was a fat person. I had it in my head that I was a fat person and nothing else. No matter what I did or said, I was fat. Which was true, I was fat. However, did I have to be a fat music lover or a fat shopper or a fat Indian? Just because I was fat, it didn't have to hold me back from the things I wanted to do or let it define who I was as a person. It was a characteristic of me just like my brown hair or brown eyes or small hands. It wasn't me.
I was letting my fat define and defeat me. When I realized I didn't have to have that identifier as "the fat girl", the feelings of insecurity and defeat disappeared -- well, not completely, but they were so much better than what they had been. It took me 33 years, but I feel like I finally realized that I'm not just the fat girl. I'm Kelli. I have a name. I have feelings. I have thoughts, desires, passions - 99.5% of those that have absolutely nothing to do with food or eating.
You have to change your entire way of thinking. You can't just let yourself as the fat person. You really have to figure out who you are and what you love or what you're living for. Are you living for your next meal or are you living with purpose? What is your reason for living your life the way you do?
If you don't know or don't have an answer, don't worry. You don't have to know. I didn't know for a long time.
It almost feels like when it's cold in the winter and you have 15 layers of clothing on and all of a sudden, you take them off and not only can you move, but you feel things again. Which is a good and bad thing because you feel the good and the bad. So be prepared. It's a physical and emotional feeling. I'm still getting used to it myself. Once those fat goggles are off, the world is a different place.
For a long time, I always just felt like the fat girl in the room - and I probably was. I still am, but in my mind (at least now anyway), I'm the thin girl or even just the girl. The girl who started running and exercising.
I'm a slow runner, but I'm a runner. I don't have to be the fat runner, because if I keep running, I'm not always going to be the fat runner. Hopefully soon, I'll be the thin runner -- Oh, how I cannot wait for that day! I've actually come to love running. That sounds absurd even to me, but believe me, it's an addiction. On the days when I don't run or don't get up and move or do something, I can definitely tell a difference in the way I feel emotionally and physically.
I used to be embarassed to go to the gym because everyone in there was thin. But do you know how they got to be thin? They exercised. They were active. And not only that, they're not really paying attention to you anyway. If they look at you, so what?? You're not there for them anyway. You're there for yourself. You go and do what you can. If you can walk for 5 minutes, walk for 5 minutes. Do what you can. Babies aren't born knowing how to walk. They learn. They start learning how to hold up their heads. Then, they sit up. Then they crawl. Then walking and finally running. It's a building process. So is this journey into exercise.
You have to want to do this for yourself regardless of what others think or tell you. If someone tells you that you can't and you beleive them, then you can't. You allowed them to have control and you can't let them have control. You have to be in control of yourself and your mind. When I decided that I was going to do this, I didn't let much of anything hold me back.
Set yourself goals and make a plan to get to those goals. When you get to your goals, give yourself a small reward. This last week, I got a reward. I got myself a "Congratulations! You can consistently run a 15 minute mile" backpack to carry my gym stuff in. It's pretty and pink! It isn't necessarily about the reward, but the goal. Don't get me wrong, I love the reward, but it's more about reaching the goal.
Not that I have already reached [the goal] or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 3:12-14 HCSB
In the words of Nike, JUST DO IT.
(P.S. I told you I'm a slow runner. 15 minutes might sound fast to some, but in the world of marathon runners, it's slow and I eventually want to run a marathon. I'm not sure when, but I want to run a marathon. Maybe 2 years? 2013?? We'll see.)
9/27
It's been so long since I've written anything to update this journey I'm on. I'm not sure where to begin.
I'm still running/jogging/walking every day, Mon-Fri. Right now, I'm going about 3-3.5 miles a day. Sometimes more. The other day I managed to find the energy for a class + 4.5 miles. I'm not sure where all that came from, but I was exhausted the next day.
My doctor is now aware that I'm exercising. He was pleased. Yes, I know that I should have talked to him about it first, but I figured since he was the one encouraging me to exercise when I saw him in February, that when I really started exercising in March or April, that he wouldn't mind and would have cleared me. He was pleased with my progress and to hear that I was working out with someone and not alone. More to the point, he was glad because my blood pressure is better than it's ever been and I've lost to date (as of Monday) 57 lbs! That's according to his records. I however, remember being heavier than what he's got in his records.
I've started going to class with Cody (our trainer at work) everyday that he's there - including the boot camp/advanced class. That class kicks my tail, but as much as I'm cursing and insulting Cody under my breath through it and hating him with every strand in my body, I know that it's good for me. I always feel it the next day. This last week, I'm not sure what we did, but it hurt for me even to stand on my tip toes because my calves and quads hurt so much. I hate it when I'm doing it, but I also love it. I know, it sounds crazy, but that's the truth.
As I'm losing weight, I'm figuring out just what's underneath all of this weight I've been carrying around all these years. I'm getting really excited to find out what's been under all these layers of fat all this time.
10/8
MAY-JOR milestone yesterday. I actually ran/jogged/whatever 5 miles. It took me 65 minutes, but I did it. I didn't know I had it in me. I am so incredibly proud of myself. AND I wasn't tired. You'd think I would be, but no. Not really. Even today, I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be. AND yesterday even after the 65 minutes, I felt like I could run some more, but I needed to go. I had somewhere to be and was out of time.
This is crazy. I guess it's true. You do what's required; then what's possible; before you know it, you're doing the impossible. No, not my quote. That's from St. Francis of Assisi. I'm sure that's not exactly right - the quote or the spelling, but you get the idea. I think back a year and where I was last October. I was struggling to walk a mile and here I am a year later and I'm not just walking, but running/jogging a mile. It baffles my mind. Seriously.
I've never been an athlete. Never. I was always the clumsy, fat girl. To see myself changing as I am is mind boggling for me. I never thought it would be possible that I could run 5 miles. Granted they were elliptical miles which aren’t' the same as running them on an open trail, but still... that's FIVE MILES and it was 65 steady minutes of vigorous physical activity. Something I never thought I would be able to do. I never thought I would be able to consider myself a runner and yet, here I am. Running. Or jogging. Whatever you'd like to call it.
When Cody told me he'd like to see me in the half marathon last year right after I finished the 5k, I told him he was crazy. Seriously, I thought he was insane. He had much more faith in me than I had in myself. He probably still has more faith in me than I have in myself, but I'm glad he does because it's his faith in me that keeps me going sometimes. Yes, I realize it's kind of his JOB, but I need him to do that sometimes. Getting back to my point, I'm beginning to see that in 6 months, yes, it's very possible that I might be able to run/walk the half marathon and FINISH. Again, it seems insane to me. Complete insanity, but I've already said I was going to try it, so I have to. If I really want to make myself, I could register now and seriously commit myself to doing it. However, I told myself that right now I would commit to train for it. In January or February, I'll make a final decision. Plus, my employer will pay for my registration - which is NOT cheap. It's something like $75. Yes, I'll let them pay for it.
The other thing that tells me I've turned a corner, I started scheduling things around my workout schedules. It isn’t even a question about whether or not I’m going to skip the class or my time to run/walk/workout. I just add that extra hour (and some days two) onto whatever time I get off work to put in my “sweat equity”. Like, when people ask me if I can do things in the evening, I know that the earliest I can be somewhere is no earlier than about 6:30 (maybe 5:30 or 6 if it’s a Monday or Friday and I don’t have a class). I’ve made it a priority.
The way I look at it is that yes, it’s selfish. However, I have to be selfish with my time when it comes to my well-being and my health. I have used and abused my body for the first 32 years I had it and now I’m trying to get it into the shape that it’s supposed to be for it to function properly. If it were someone who was sick or an alcoholic, you wouldn’t judge them or criticize them for going to the doctor or seeking treatment for what ails them. For me, this is my treatment and it’s up to me to make sure that it gets done. There aren’t a lot of people looking over my shoulder asking me why I wasn’t in the gym sweating it out. Well, maybe Cody, but anyone else wouldn’t pay it any attention if I skipped a day, a week or even a month. I, however, would know and would feel guilty because even if no one else is holding me accountable, I’m holding myself accountable.
There have been too many people along the way who have always told me I couldn't do something or expected me to fail. They don’t think I’m going to follow through with things. And it’s true. I’m horrible with follow through, but I’m working on that. I’m slowly but surely getting better at that. I’m realizing what I can accomplish and what I know I can do. I’m realizing my limits. Not that I can’t do whatever I put my mind to, but I also know what I can commit to doing – whether it’s going to take time, money or both and realizing that those are very precious things that I can’t waste. Maybe that’s just a part of growing up, but it’s what I’ve been learning most recently.
The other thing that tells me that I’ve changed, earlier today was the game I look forward to all year long – the OU-Texas game. I usually spend hours reading game analysis or reviews or previews online or watching video montages of previous games. Not only did I not do that this year, but even though I was excited about the OU/Texas game, I woke up more excited about the 5 miles I did yesterday on the elliptical than the game. If you would’ve told me last year or a few months ago even that I’d be more excited about that than the OU/Texas game, I would’ve told you that you were insane. However, it’s true. I thought more about getting closer to my next goal of a 12-minute mile than the OU/Texas game. Truly unimaginable a few months ago.
10/10
It’s rare that I have breakthroughs/insights 2 days in a row, but I do. Today’s insight? I got into jeans a former friend gave me that were THREE SIZES smaller than what I was wearing previously. Seriously. I was in the larger end of the “regular” plus sizes. I lost weight, but wasn’t quite into a smaller size yet last year when she gave them to me. They’re a bit of a squeeze, but I was able to get into them. I’m so proud of myself. I can’t wait until these are too big too.
Now comes the debate. Do I go ahead and get rid of my jeans that are too big now? I hate to get rid of clothes that I’ve barely worn.
So someone is reading this.
Apparently, I do have readers. And more than just my mom and trainer. Well, if we're going by page views anyway. I feel a bit like Julie in Julie & Julia when she starts her blog. But according to blogger/blogspot, I have 40 page views.
Although, I had a bit of a freak-out moment yesterday. I forgot I had posted the link to this blog on my trainer's facebook page. Well, he's the trainer for the entire company (all 200 of us) and pretty much is friends with everyone who works with him on facebook. I'd forgotten I'd posted a link that included a thumbnail of my picture to the right for this blog when someone came up to me in the break room and said "Hey, I read your post the other day." Confused, I asked her what post she had seen because I had really only told 2 people that I'd posted a blog. Well, one really, but one of my other friends at work said he saw it and read it. So when someone I don't really talk to at work comes up to me and says that they read my blog, I freaked out a bit. Then after talking to her, I realized she'd seen where I posted the link to my blog on his facebook page and clicked through from there. It wasn't that I didn't want her to read it. Obviously, if I wanted it to be private, I wouldn't have posted it as a public blog. I just didn't realize someone was reading it.
That being said, I"m going to post some updates from prior to forming this blog. I'd written them as notes on facebook, but they weren't public or even made available to friends. I wasn't quite ready for people to see them, and I'm still not really sure I'm 100% there. Mostly because it's personal and I'm not really used to being vulnerable with people. There have been so many people who have hurt me in the past and it's hard for me to let that wall down and let people really get to know me. It's easy to show them my teasing, joking side, but to show people the real me is something quite daring for me to do. So, be gentle with me please. :)
Although, I had a bit of a freak-out moment yesterday. I forgot I had posted the link to this blog on my trainer's facebook page. Well, he's the trainer for the entire company (all 200 of us) and pretty much is friends with everyone who works with him on facebook. I'd forgotten I'd posted a link that included a thumbnail of my picture to the right for this blog when someone came up to me in the break room and said "Hey, I read your post the other day." Confused, I asked her what post she had seen because I had really only told 2 people that I'd posted a blog. Well, one really, but one of my other friends at work said he saw it and read it. So when someone I don't really talk to at work comes up to me and says that they read my blog, I freaked out a bit. Then after talking to her, I realized she'd seen where I posted the link to my blog on his facebook page and clicked through from there. It wasn't that I didn't want her to read it. Obviously, if I wanted it to be private, I wouldn't have posted it as a public blog. I just didn't realize someone was reading it.
That being said, I"m going to post some updates from prior to forming this blog. I'd written them as notes on facebook, but they weren't public or even made available to friends. I wasn't quite ready for people to see them, and I'm still not really sure I'm 100% there. Mostly because it's personal and I'm not really used to being vulnerable with people. There have been so many people who have hurt me in the past and it's hard for me to let that wall down and let people really get to know me. It's easy to show them my teasing, joking side, but to show people the real me is something quite daring for me to do. So, be gentle with me please. :)
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Good Intentions...
Well, I intended on posting more last week or over the weekend, but it just didn't happen. For all 2 or 3 of you who might be reading this, sorry about that. I had a crazy weekend. It was fun, but busy. I guess I probably could've posted something on Sunday, but I was taking a much needed day of rest.
I'll admit. I was completely lazy over the weekend. I didn't do any intentional exercise. For my trainer who very well might be reading this, I'm sorry! Although, I did work pretty hard the rest of the days of last week and I was active, just no intentional exercise. Let me clarify - My cousins and I had a garage sale on Friday and Saturday. So, I did lots of moving around, lifting and walking. Just not any intentional exercise. Maybe that will be enough. I did map out a course to walk/jog in my cousin's neighborhood where we had the garage sale. I just didn't get to it. I was exhausted after being outside and moving all that stuff around. I did manage to eat a decent breakfast both days I was there as well - which is something I've been struggling with lately. I just haven't felt like eating breakfast lately. I'm not sure what's going on there.
Yesterday I made up for my lack of exercise Friday and Saturday. I ran/jogged 4.62 miles on the elliptical. My legs can feel it this morning too. They're not sore per se, but I can tell I used them after not using them for a lot over the last 3 days.
I'm right at the halfway mark for our 100 mile challenge at work. I wish I were further. I have more mileage I need to add on because I haven't done the math on my steps from my pedometer. I still haven't taken that retard pedometer back to Academy either. I absolutely loathe that thing. Bump it or nudge it or even let it sit horizontal instead of vertical and it resets. Something is wonky about that. Either way, I'm going to try to get in at least another 4 miles today plus a class at work. Since the class counts as 3.3 miles, I should be able to get in an easy 7 miles each day over the next few days.
It's still a bit of an absurd thought that I'm jogging/running/walking 3+ miles on a daily basis. I was telling my coworker and trainer the other day that I started the 100 mile challenge last year, but didn't finish. Even what bit I did get in, I wasn't getting enough mileage on average to have finished. This year, if I keep up the pace I'm at, I should finish ahead of the 30-31 days. That makes me so excited. How far one can go in a year. Not everyday is a good one where I get in as much as I'd like, but it's always at least 30 minutes and I can get in at least 2 miles in 30 minutes. I just have to remind myself that every day is as new day and a new start. We might fail one day, but that's the joy in it. There's a new day tomorrow.
I'm also thinking of posting some pictures/posts on temptaions. What do you think? I seem do better if I have someone to talk with about my temptations even if my readers might be imaginary...
Today, I'm really craving a sweet tea from McDonald's and ice cream. Ice cream's been one for me for the last few days, but I haven't had any on my cheat days. I forget. Ice cream and fast food breakfasts are what I miss. I'm not sure what the connection is there.
I'll admit. I was completely lazy over the weekend. I didn't do any intentional exercise. For my trainer who very well might be reading this, I'm sorry! Although, I did work pretty hard the rest of the days of last week and I was active, just no intentional exercise. Let me clarify - My cousins and I had a garage sale on Friday and Saturday. So, I did lots of moving around, lifting and walking. Just not any intentional exercise. Maybe that will be enough. I did map out a course to walk/jog in my cousin's neighborhood where we had the garage sale. I just didn't get to it. I was exhausted after being outside and moving all that stuff around. I did manage to eat a decent breakfast both days I was there as well - which is something I've been struggling with lately. I just haven't felt like eating breakfast lately. I'm not sure what's going on there.
Yesterday I made up for my lack of exercise Friday and Saturday. I ran/jogged 4.62 miles on the elliptical. My legs can feel it this morning too. They're not sore per se, but I can tell I used them after not using them for a lot over the last 3 days.
I'm right at the halfway mark for our 100 mile challenge at work. I wish I were further. I have more mileage I need to add on because I haven't done the math on my steps from my pedometer. I still haven't taken that retard pedometer back to Academy either. I absolutely loathe that thing. Bump it or nudge it or even let it sit horizontal instead of vertical and it resets. Something is wonky about that. Either way, I'm going to try to get in at least another 4 miles today plus a class at work. Since the class counts as 3.3 miles, I should be able to get in an easy 7 miles each day over the next few days.
It's still a bit of an absurd thought that I'm jogging/running/walking 3+ miles on a daily basis. I was telling my coworker and trainer the other day that I started the 100 mile challenge last year, but didn't finish. Even what bit I did get in, I wasn't getting enough mileage on average to have finished. This year, if I keep up the pace I'm at, I should finish ahead of the 30-31 days. That makes me so excited. How far one can go in a year. Not everyday is a good one where I get in as much as I'd like, but it's always at least 30 minutes and I can get in at least 2 miles in 30 minutes. I just have to remind myself that every day is as new day and a new start. We might fail one day, but that's the joy in it. There's a new day tomorrow.
I'm also thinking of posting some pictures/posts on temptaions. What do you think? I seem do better if I have someone to talk with about my temptations even if my readers might be imaginary...
Today, I'm really craving a sweet tea from McDonald's and ice cream. Ice cream's been one for me for the last few days, but I haven't had any on my cheat days. I forget. Ice cream and fast food breakfasts are what I miss. I'm not sure what the connection is there.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Well, here goes nothing...
For those of you who don't know me (and likely, most of you will know me), I'm Kelli.
There are 2 previous posts to this one, but they were really up there so I could post a rave/rant about when I got to meet a semi-famous singer about 3 years ago. However, I'm going to use this blog to hopefully blog and inspire others on the journey that I'm on.
About 6 months ago, I got tired of being fat. I've been fat all my life - or at least as long as I can remember. So much so that it's basically become a part of my identity (more about that later).
I've never been an athlete. I was always picked last in school for sports or teams. I tried to play softball one season when I was about 15 and failed horribly. So horribly that at the end of the season, I almost broke my nose and did break my new glasses and haven't played a game since.
I'm also very clumsy. I've always been clumsy, so I'm always falling or bruising myself somehow and don't even realize I've injured myself until I find a bruise in the shower or while getting dressed. Obviously, I remember falling, and I always manage to fall in some largely embarrassing way in front of a bunch of people.
Needless to say, because of these last two paragraphs, I never conceived that I would do anything seemingly athletic. Associating fitness with me is a definitely a new thing. Why I decided that I was tired of being fat all of a sudden, I'm not sure. I've never been happy with myself or my size. I probably haven't been since I was about 10 or 11 (about when I started to really gain weight). I just wasn't happy as a person either and decided to do something about it.
I'd signed up to do our company's "The Biggest Loser" competition. I had sort of started walking, but I wasn't doing it regularly. I might have gone once a week. Maybe. About at the same time, I got this goal in my head of doing a 5k. 3.1 miles seemed like such a long ways. Insanely long. But I got it in my head that I could do it.
I stared slow. Started walking what I could as I could. I started attending classes with the trainer at my job (more about that later as well). Eventually, I did work my way up to where I am now, but it took a lot of time and a lot of what I like to call "sweat equity". However, I know that with my hard work, I'm putting myself in better health and I'm also adding years to my life.
As I post more, I'll get more in depth with different things. I thought I should post something to introduce myself and what I'm doing here.
There are 2 previous posts to this one, but they were really up there so I could post a rave/rant about when I got to meet a semi-famous singer about 3 years ago. However, I'm going to use this blog to hopefully blog and inspire others on the journey that I'm on.
About 6 months ago, I got tired of being fat. I've been fat all my life - or at least as long as I can remember. So much so that it's basically become a part of my identity (more about that later).
I've never been an athlete. I was always picked last in school for sports or teams. I tried to play softball one season when I was about 15 and failed horribly. So horribly that at the end of the season, I almost broke my nose and did break my new glasses and haven't played a game since.
I'm also very clumsy. I've always been clumsy, so I'm always falling or bruising myself somehow and don't even realize I've injured myself until I find a bruise in the shower or while getting dressed. Obviously, I remember falling, and I always manage to fall in some largely embarrassing way in front of a bunch of people.
Needless to say, because of these last two paragraphs, I never conceived that I would do anything seemingly athletic. Associating fitness with me is a definitely a new thing. Why I decided that I was tired of being fat all of a sudden, I'm not sure. I've never been happy with myself or my size. I probably haven't been since I was about 10 or 11 (about when I started to really gain weight). I just wasn't happy as a person either and decided to do something about it.
I'd signed up to do our company's "The Biggest Loser" competition. I had sort of started walking, but I wasn't doing it regularly. I might have gone once a week. Maybe. About at the same time, I got this goal in my head of doing a 5k. 3.1 miles seemed like such a long ways. Insanely long. But I got it in my head that I could do it.
I stared slow. Started walking what I could as I could. I started attending classes with the trainer at my job (more about that later as well). Eventually, I did work my way up to where I am now, but it took a lot of time and a lot of what I like to call "sweat equity". However, I know that with my hard work, I'm putting myself in better health and I'm also adding years to my life.
As I post more, I'll get more in depth with different things. I thought I should post something to introduce myself and what I'm doing here.
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