Health Issues

So, I mentioned something about this in my last post. I apparently am havin gsome health problems. I didn't realize it. I feel okay. I don't feel sick, but I apparently have something going on. I haven't mentioned anything specific to a lot of people yet. Really the only people who know are my immediate family and a few close friends.

Yes, I know I talk A LOT. I know it seems like I'm always asking for attention - what can I say? I'm the youngest. that's what we do. However, this was something I've kind of felt like keeping close to the heart this time.

It's been a lot for me to deal with. I pretty much had a full-on freak out in the specialist's office when I went to see him and he told me what was going on. If you haven't  picked up by now, I'm a fairly emotional person. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes it's there before I even realize it. Apparently, it's my coping tool.

I have to have some specialized testing done this week. A biopsy to be be specific. I'm nervous and scared and anxious. All the other biopsies I've had done on other parts of my body were all done in the doctor's office and were not on a major organ. It's a bit scary for me.

I'm scared. I'm scared they'll find out I have some kind of rare disease that's un-treatable. I'm afraid they're going to go in and find out that my kidneys are worse than expected or that they're going to have to keep me in the hospital. I'm afraid that they'll find something else wrong with me while I'm in there.

Yes, I relize it could be the opposite. They could actually find out what's going on and it could be easily treated.

I've been through so many changes in medication, diet and my lifestyle lately that things just feel like they're spinning out of control. I hate that. I am a creature of habit and I don't like changes to my schedule or expectations without some advance notice. It's just a lot to digest. A lot to take in.

It's rough having a doctor shoot straight with you and tell you that one of your organs is performs like it's 40 years older than you are. With our family history, it's very scary for me.

I think the worst part of it all is that feel sick. I don't feel bad. I feel  perfectly normal and healthy. I have plenty of energy. I worked out Monday, and did 2 workouts yesterday. There haven't been any changes in my appetite or bodily functions (that I've noticed) and I don't appear sick. However, according to the doctor, I'm pretty sick. That's what I don't understand. If I really am sick, wouldn't I feel sick? One would think so. It's hard to wrap your head around something when you can't see what the doctor sees or don't feel sick.